Passion vs. The Right Thing to DoIt has arrive... The letter from M.O.E has finally arrive. I have been waitng for ages. My application has never been successful for the past few times. And I thank God I have finally recieve it. He has given me a chance... But, I should not be too happy about it. I am only called down for an interview. So... That means, I have a 50-50 chance of getting in. And if I do, I will get to study again. Insyallah, when the interview comes, I will be prepared for it. So ppl, please do pray for me.
there are times when I do here my callings. But I refuse to listen to them. Or..maybe not. Maybe... Maybe, I was just too afraid to pursue it again. yet, there is the silent cries of passion in my heart. shld i brush it off?
There are many things in life which I have pursued which remain as an unfinish business. Today, I learn something new. Something new about the things that I used to be passionate about; and that is silat. My dad has thaught me new techniques. More like old teachniques however are new to me. And in my heart there is this void which I can never seem to fullfill. And that is, the passion to fight again with using the old silat techniques incoporated into my combos. Well, not old techniques but the true form of silat. Silat is not all about attacking ones opponent. Silat is about defence and fighting smart. Modern silat does not have all that. Modern silat is all about being robust and being rough. Or to beat the pulp out of your opponent. But what I have learn that there is the delicate, cultured, refine and gentle kind of Silat techniques. Which needlessly uses so much strength. Using less strength, proper movements and attacking the right pressure points. I have fought before. I have the skills, but I lack concept and most importantly, I lack fighting with my heart. And I have always, till now, dream of experimenting and using these techniques in a real sparring match. I know I am not that good, but I am willing to try. As for now, I cannot afford it. Becuase I fear. The fear to lose, to feel pain and to feel weak. There are many times when poeple do ask me to go for sparring competitions because they feel that I have the potential and I that can develop and further improve. But I refuse to and so I chose to learn the artisic part of silat. However, it is good. In actual fact, it is the proper way. You have to learn the artistic moverments first before you learn how to fight. That is what they do during the olden days. After learning all that artisitic movements, I ponder on how they use such movements and incoporate into real life fights. You got to be fast inorder to do such things. Furthermore, you will have to understand the movements before you apply it. Becauase, each movement you make has many meanings; it can be an attacking technique or a defencing technique. I seriously have no idea. For now, lets just leave it be. When the time comes when God do not forbid, I will fight.
Silat is not for the bull. Silat is for the deer.
* 5:35 PM
